Why Women Prefer Cucumbers to Men

1. cucumbers don't ever cheat.
2. the woman is sure that she is the cucumbers first partner.
3. the lubrication is always good.
4. cucumbers don't fall asleep after the first go.
5. cucumbers don't leave a wet spot
6. cucumbers can do it as many times as a woman wants successively
7. cucumbers are always ready
8. cucumbers are expendable
9. the woman does not need to use birth control
10. the woman need not get emotionally involved
11. cucumbers do not argue
12. cucumbers don't ever have problems getting it up
13. cucumbers are good to eat and always taste good
14. cucumbers do not complain if the woman bites
15. cucumbers don't harass their partner to give them head
16. cucumbers do not care if the woman bleeds
17. the woman can get in any position she chooses with her cucumber
18. the woman can change cucumbers as often as she wants
19. cucumbers aren't fussy
20. cucumbers aren't desperate
21. cucumbers don't ever get jealous
22. cucumbers don't need to be fed
23. cucumbers don't care if the woman makes lousy breakfast
24. cucumbers don't insult woman ( or any one else for that matter )
25. cucumbers don't care if the woman is not a virgin
26. cucumbers don't insist in doing it when the woman doesn't want to do it
27. cucumbers come in varying sizes and shapes
28. the woman can have as many cucumbers as she wants in one night
29. cucumbers don't talk back
30. cucumbers will not leave the woman for another woman
31. cucumbers will not compare the woman with other woman
32. the woman need not turn the cucumber on
33. cucumbers cannot give VD or Herpes to the woman
34. cucumbers cannot hurt a woman
35. cucumbers will not push a woman around
36. cucumbers don't have a cigarette after sex
37. cucumbers don't eat in bed
38. two cucumbers will not fight over for a woman
39. cucumbers don't have fetishes
40. cucumbers don't have hang-ups
41. cucumbers aren't into S and M
42. cucumbers do not have smelly feet ( don't generally smell at all if fresh )
43. cucumbers do not have to be reminded how good they are
44. cucumbers don't take much place in bed
45. cucumbers never drink alcohol ( or anything else for that matter )
46. cucumbers don't snore
47. cucumbers can't hear the woman snore
48. cucumbers never have bad breath
49. cucumbers won't feel obliged to ask her in marriage once he's slept with her
50. the woman never has to see the cucumber again if she was not satisfied
51. she need not reassure the cucumber constantly that his performance is good
52. she need not worry about hurting the cucumber's ego ( what ego? )
53. she need not care about reassuring the cucumber about his masculinity
54. cucumbers never have premature ejaculations
55. cucumbers never rape anybody
56. cucumber don't care about the woman's looks
57. a cucumber will most certainly never run off with her best friend
58. cucumbers are readily available at all times, whether the woman is single, married, young or old, lives with or without parents, is with or without children
59. she need never worry that he may wake up one day and confess he's always been gay
60. cucumbers don't care for any form of pornography
61. cucumbers don't talk in their sleep
62. cucumbers will never be bothered if she talks in her sleep
63. cucumbers will never spill out all the secrets she's been telling him
64. she can throw the cucumber across the room and replace him if she was dissatisfied with his performance
65. cucumbers can take sex or leave it. They don't really care either way
66. cucumbers never bite
67. cucumbers won't go all out to ruin the woman's reputation when she dumps him
68. the woman never has to fight for the bed sheets with the cucumber
69. cucumbers are never too stoned that they can't get it up
70. cucumbers never take any dope that will make them
71. cucumbers don't care what's on T.V. whether its the Grey cup, Stanley cup or any other cup
72. the woman need never hide her cucumber in the closet if her husband or if her parents arrive unexpectedly
73. the woman can always have her cucumber if her male partner has not satisfied her
74. the woman can have her cucumber then eat it too
75. cucumbers will never bother a woman about her past
76. cucumbers will never use what a woman tells him against her
77. cucumbers never ramble on about politics
78. cucumbers never get depressed
79. who's ever heard of an alcoholic cucumber....
80. cucumbers never have pimples
81. cucumbers are inexpensive